[Nicole]

OMG...so a friend suggested a general forum site to me! That isnt specifically scrappin like here!!! I thought I would check it out. The first post I ever decided to read was from a moderator completely ranting and raving about spammers. She was acting crazy, so I said that as a new member and this being the first thing I read, I was completely turned off. She sent me two pm's and bashed me on the forum post! She lied about me! When she wrote me she wrote a novel saying that my post was reprehensible! OMG I told her to look the word up because it doesnt mean what she thinks it means if she is saying my post was that. I literally said that I was just turned off to this site now. So I wrote her back explaining craftella and how I would NEVER EVER respond to any of you on here that way. EVER. That clearly our methods are different. She had complained that she wasted an hour of her time contacting rule breakers. And that she is a volunteer, I said I am a volunteer for a few organizations and that things like that happen! But you deal internally, not publicly like that. I also said if someone is spamming something, do you really think a post like this would deter them from doing it again? It wont. She wrote me back again acting psycho and then blocked me. She proceeded to go on the forum post and claim that I claimed to be next to God etc. Which I never did. I was just explaining that I wouldnt handle things this way and that she should rethink it. You turn people off by ranting about members! I am sorry, but you do! Bottom line. I am so upset that she acted like a crazy person. I will not make the mistake of leaving my bubble of craftella! OMG Everyone here is so wonderful and I just couldnt believe the people on there. She said to me that they will "eat me alive" on that site if I think she was nasty....no it DOESNT have to be that way! That is my point. Why cant people be positive and enjoy interacting with one another?

I really feel like this is a much nicer site. If we rant, it is about our personal lives! We are not bashing each other. We are supportive and encouraging! I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. She isnt going to rain on my parade at all! I like the positiveness of our site. I will stick with being friendly and happy!

You ladies are all simply wonderful! I couldnt ask for better scrappies to interact with!!!!

[Ceatana]

That is obviously a site that should be avoided. I generally avoid forums where I see a lot of negativity. I AM curious, though, what site it was. I'd like to take a look myself and possibly direct my friends away from it if it really is that bad. (not that I'm not believing you, but I WOULD like to check it out for myself).

[Nicole]

Well it is a huge site. My friend who has been on it explained that some of them are bad. They have "groups" and you have to join the "group" to post on their forums. So the main site has littler topics. A lot different from here. She told me she has seen this lady before and she rants a lot. I guess she moderates several things. She told me to stick to the ones about my due date month. I am checking it out now, and they seem much nicer.

It was cafemom.com So I guess I picked a bad group? It was suggested to me when I signed up so I said ohh ok...It was the first email today and the first featured forum post in the email. Just not my thing. I have to do some more research before joining one of these. I mean I know we all have bad days, I have them too! I had a lot when we were trying to conceive and struggling. That was the hardest thing I have been through but I mean, you don't take it out on everyone else. I guess everyone is different though!!!! So she banned me LOL from that group. No skin off of my back, I wasn't planning on participating there anymore. I will be more selective now that I know how it all works! What an early morning lesson I had!!! haha

[Ceatana]

Yeah. You really have to be selective about forums. Some are good. Some are bad. I sometimes find it really funny reading the rants because it blows my mind how some people can take such minor things so seriously. It's good that you're getting into the mom-networking now. I didn't really do much until after my first was born and I found that I was getting bored sitting at home. It's important to find good groups (both online and in your city/town) that you can connect with to ask questions. I was lucky in that during my pregnancy, my older sister was also pregnant and she had also had 3 kids so I had someone close to me who was going through all the same things that I was.

[Nicole]

Yeah my friend said that she would have been lost without the mom groups she joined on there! She lives in FL! I am going to be a stay at home mom. My hubby encourages me to do activities and things etc so I am glad he is supportive. I start two classes next week, a prenatal yoga and a prenatal aerobics, both through my hospital. So I am sure I will meet moms to be in the area there as well! A bunch of my girlfriends are also preggo right now, I guess the past 9 months have been very fertile in Chicago! LOL So it has helped that I can talk to them about things. Some are due in August, so they have been giving me tips now that they are seasoned preggos hehe

[mom2patrickncolin]

I am a member of Cafemom.com. Some of the forums are awful!! I am a member a forum on there about babies born the same month my youngest was born. And will tell you that some of those women think they are God and they are raising their children much better than everyone else. If you don't believe in what they believe in oh the Crap that will rain down on you from them. There was a thread about what Carseat do you like best. I simply replied that after we did our research we decided that the Britax Marathon was the best choice for us. OMG!!!! I was bashed because not everyone can afford a Britax and that I didn't do my research correctly because some other brand (I can't even remember which now) was SOOO much better. I also said that I turned my boys around from rear facing to forward facing when they turned one. Well I was told that I obviously don't love or care about my boys safety by turning them around so early. That Extended Rear Facing is the only way to go!! And that is totally fine if that is what you believe in. I was bashed for not breastfeeding my kids. No one seems to care that I can't breastfeed!! It's amazing. I don't even go on that forum anymore. I am part of a photography forum there that doesn't seem to bad, but all in all I stay away from Cafemom for the most part anymore. I stick to my scrapbooking sites....scrapping ladies are the best!!!!

[Nicole]

Ok I am glad I am not the only one! I was thinking I was crazy for thinking being nice is much easier! GEEESH lol Most people I know turn the baby around at 1...if the dr says that they are heavy enough! My dad taught me one thing during my wedding planning, which I try to still live by. I was upset about people demanding this or that for MY wedding and I told him...he said "When people tell you what to do, say oh ok yeah. Then hang up the phone or walk away or whatever and do whatever you think is best!" lol So I am applying that to this new adventure of being a mom too. Clearly you love your kids and if the seat was the best for your family then who cares!!!! lol Why does it bother people so much when someone else does something different?!?!?! I dont get it. I dont like being angry. My hubby always tells me that people get brave behind a computer. Chances are none of these people would speak to you or me that way in person!

[mom2patrickncolin]

I think all you can do is what is BEST for you and your little one! Thats my philosophy. If it's best that my son be turned around in his carseat when he is 1 AND 30lbs (the law is 1 and 20lbs here in PA) than that's what I am going to do. If someone else wants to keep their 4 year old rear facing with his knees stuck in his ears..well who am I to judge. If I want to bottle feed my children so be it...I will never put anyone down for breastfeeding...again, everyone does what they feel is best for their child and in the end that is all that really matters. I think the parenting sites are the ones that I have learned to stay away from...those ladies can be real *w*itches at times. I was even on a site for pregnant mom's who were all expecting the same month and it was all the same thing, but that was where the real bashing of the bottle vs. breastfeeding began. It's crazy!! But my scrapbooking forums, my photography forums, even the running a daycare out of your home forum are full of some wonderful non judging ladies!! The funny thing is you will find all kinds of non judging "mom" support on any of those other forums.

[Ceatana]

It sounds like cafemom isn't the greatest forum. lol. There must be better ones out there where people will just give their opinion without being all uppity and stuff. I'm far from thinking that the way I do things is the complete best way and everyone should be doing it the same. Heck, my oldest was a big baby and we ended up turning his carseat around at 9 months because he was getting too big to sit backwards. He was 23 lbs and about 2 cm shorter than the tallest height for the carseat to be rear-facing, so we switched him around. It didn't help that if he was backwards he would cry non-stop, either. I didn't even know that the law said that a child under 1 had to be rear-facing until about a month ago.

You really have to do what is right for you and your baby. And I totally agree with your father. When I was pregnant with my first I got (and still do get) a lot of advice about how to do things with the baby. Down to which diapers I should buy and whether I should make my own baby food or not. I just listened to each piece of advice, nodded my head, said thanks and then did whatever the heck I was going to do anyway. Some things just don't work for everyone.

You're going to be a great mom.

[Dandylicioushair]

when I first read you original post I thought for sure I knew where you were....I know of another site that is full of psychos like that! I had to leave it, I was on there for over 2 years and finally had to leave due to ignorant comments made towards me directly, lots of high horse cows!!! I won't post it here but if anyone wants to know it, I will answer in a PM.

so sorry you had to experience such rudeness Nicole, every mom is different and does the best they can and no one should ever judge based on anything you purchase or want for your child!